This week, many in the Jewish community, especially those in the advocacy space, were up in arms over a Superbowl ad created by Robert Kraft’s Blue Square Alliance and its campaign to #EndJewishHate.

I’ve since seen and heard a tremendous amount of comment and criticism of the piece. In fact, there’s been so much that I don’t think I could do justice to all of it. Many who saw it felt that it portrayed the Jewish high school student as small and weak, and the non Jewish friend who stood with him as tall and strong. They felt uncomfortable with that imagery. Others thought it didn’t address what Jews can and must do. Or it didn’t mention Israel. Or it was too expensive. Some of this may be true, but I think much of the criticism misses the point.

I listened to a discussion between podcaster Jonah Platt and Blue Square Alliance President Adam Katz the other day. The data driven, tested, evidentiary process which informed the ad, the target audience, the early outcomes they have measured, all of it indicates that the ad did what it was intended to do, which is to reach those without strong feelings on antisemitism or those who are not invested on one side or the other of the conflict in Israel, and those who most importantly value their friendships and relationships.

It may not satisfy the feelings we’re all experiencing as we navigate through this perilous time. We want to confront, we want to call out, we want to fight and win the battles in the media, on X or Instagram, in the papers, in the classroom. And we need to do that too. We SHOULD be outraged at the hatred coming our way. But we also need to find allies, including the ones who will quietly but surely stand up for what is right and stand with us. It may not seem like there are many, but the data shows there are more in our country than we think.

There was one other point that was driven home this week. Reactions to this ad came from the perspective of those who have been engaged with every detail, every tragedy, every horror, and every triumph since October 7th. Like so many of you, for months at a time, every minute I followed the war, the hostages, the campus protests, and whatever info I could find. Yes, I had a professional need to do so. But I didn’t, I couldn’t turn it off or look away. Well, not everyone around us has done that, and so their perspective won’t be informed in the same way.

To demonstrate my point, I was in Albany earlier this week, at a conference with my colleagues on the New York State Division of Human Rights Hate and Bias Prevention Council. We had regional meetings, heard reporting from staff, worked on campaigns and budgets, and more. Near the end of the day on Tuesday, affinity groups from across the state had an hour to meet and work on collaboration. For the Jewish participants, we found that unlike many of the other groups, we were already collaborating and working closely together. We discussed our shared experiences post October 7th and how it (and the consequent rise in antisemitism) has changed relationships with other groups, how it has impacted everything from security costs to education. At one point, a woman - from upstate, with roots in Latin America - who had sat down at the table with us, but wasn’t part of the Jewish community, said “Excuse me, but you all keep mentioning October 7th. What’s that?”

We were stunned. Silent for a good 10-15 seconds.

My first thought, quickly extinguished, was anger. She didn’t know about October 7th? And she works in the human rights field? She lives in New York State? Really?

And then, just seconds later, I concluded that my initial thoughts were presumptive. I didn’t know this woman. I didn’t know her challenges, her activism, the crises she was trying to help solve. I didn’t know if and how she had experienced discrimination, and I didn’t know anything about her responsibilities, her family, her community, or what her priorities were.

So, we proceeded in a generous and gentle way, to share information with her, and as we talked, her eyes widened, and she began to understand.

We have work to do. Some of it, much of it, revolves around making sure those who have chosen to be our adversaries are on notice and that we are using every legislative, legal, social, and economic means we have to make their Jew hatred a costly endeavor. But that is not everyone, and there are many who would stand with us; we can’t assume they know our story, our experience.

We are a capable people. We can do hard things, without making assumptions. That means confronting evil and hate, but at the same time it means building alliances and sharing common goals of building a society based on kindness, values and responsibility.